WHAT IF I LOSE ME TO GAIN YOU?
Dying a deeper death sometimes hard lessons are learned while traveling in the unknown.
Unfortunately, a cycle breaker often runs into conflict with their family. The parents or other family members might feel uncomfortable as they watch the cycle breaker overcome the generational cycles that continue to plague them. Sometimes, they think the cycle breaker has betrayed the family by refusing to partake in the same habits, beliefs, or behaviors. Despite this tension, though, the cycle breaker is committed to improving themselves and their future.
What Is a Cycle Breaker?
A cycle breaker is an individual within a family unit who decides that it’s time to put a stop to the harmful family pattern. The cycle breaker recognizes that the family habits are causing pain or grief, and they realize that they have the power to end the cycle. They commit to self-improvement so that they can enjoy their own life free from the harmful patterns and so that they can be the best possible parent to their own children.
Repeating Cycles and How to Break Them
Our personalities, behaviors, and habits are largely a reflection of our families and our upbringings. As children, we learn how to interact with the world based on what we see from our parents and the other adults in our lives. Then, we’re likely to repeat the same behavior as we get older.
If your parents taught you how to cope with stress, how to form healthy relationships, and how to process and express your emotions, you may find these skills much easier to maintain in your adult life. However, if you learned unhealthy habits or harmful behaviors from your family, you may repeat their mistakes. These generational cycles can persist until one individual makes the active choice to break the habit.
Breaking a generational cycle is not easy, and it rarely happens by accident. To be a cycle breaker, you need to reflect on the harmful patterns that cause your family pain, and you need to commit to rewriting your future so that you don’t promote the same behaviors in your own children.
How Generational Cycles Develop
Generational cycles are repeated patterns of harmful beliefs, toxic behaviors, or bad habits that affect an entire family line. The way we view the world is often shaped by our own families, so it’s very easy for children to adopt the same perspective as their parents. Then, when the kids grow up and become parents, they teach the behavior to their own children.
Generational cycles can take on a wide variety of forms. Some families struggle with financial literacy and pass down bad money habits for generations. In some families, the harmful pattern involves prejudiced or
judgmental beliefs toward others. Kids who grow up around their parents’ dysfunctional marriage may seek out a toxic relationship in adulthood. There are endless ways that your family’s habits can influence your behavior.
Some people are well aware of the generational cycles that exist within their family, but they feel powerless to stop them. You might recognize that you’re repeating the same mistakes as your parents, but you don’t know how else to approach your life. In other cases, though, people are completely blind to their dysfunctional family patterns. They don’t realize that there is any other way to interact with the world, so they promote the same beliefs or actions to their children and perpetuate the cycle.
If you’ve noticed harmful generational cycles within your own family, you may wonder how you can break the cycle and prevent the negativity from continuing. Here are five steps for breaking generational cycles:
1. Take note of the common beliefs in your family system.
Sometimes, generational cycles take the form of observable actions. In other cases, the pattern involves internal beliefs or values. Identifying the common beliefs shared by most of your family can help you start to understand the framework through which they view the world. Then, you can explore whether or not your own beliefs align with your family’s.
2. Identify the family pattern of behavior.
You might notice that your family always encounters the same problems, but you may not know exactly why. Figuring out the behavior that’s causing harm is essential if you want to be a cycle breaker. Maybe your family struggles to resolve conflict, or maybe they turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms during times of crisis. By identifying the specific family pattern you want to unlearn, you can create a clear plan for yourself to work toward mental and emotional wellness.
3. Heal from the toxic patterns.
Before you can actively take steps to break the habits you’ve learned from your family, you should give yourself space to process the harmful experiences you were exposed to. It’s difficult to recognize and accept that your family perpetuates a negative cycle, and you should explore your emotions about the topic. Taking the time to process and heal will ensure that you fully break out of the cycle without falling back into the old habits.
4. Define your new priorities.
It’s helpful to replace your old beliefs or behaviors with new ones. Instead of simply telling yourself that you’re no longer going to participate in the generational cycle, you should give yourself specific goals and actions that you can work toward. Sometimes, it’s easier to focus on implementing positive change into your life than it is to try to avoid negative behaviors.
5. Set boundaries with your family.
Your family might not respond well to you breaking away from their usual patterns. Some people are proud to see their children overcome a generational cycle, but others feel threatened or defensive when their kids call out their mistakes. Prepare to set clear, firm boundaries with your family if they don’t support the changes you’re making. You can still love and support your family, but creating boundaries will help you maintain your own mental health.
Break Generational Cycles and Promote Long-term Accountablity
Judges 2:11–15 Breaking the Cycle of Sin
“And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and served Baalim: and they forsook the LORD God of their fathers, which brought them out of the land of Egypt, and followed other gods, of the gods of the people that were round about them, and bowed themselves unto them, and provoked the LORD to anger.
And they forsook the LORD, and served Baal and Ashtaroth. And the anger of the LORD was hot against Israel, and he delivered them into the hands of spoilers that spoiled them, and he sold them into the hands of their enemies round about, so that they could not any longer stand before their enemies.
Whithersoever they went out, the hand of the LORD was against them for evil, as the LORD had said, and as the LORD had sworn unto them: and they were greatly distressed.”
Judges 2:11-15 KJV
Jeree teaches powerful yet practical strategies for overcoming mental, emotional, spiritual battles. Her real attitude, positive outlook, and authenticity have caught the attention and hearts of women from all walks of life. Breaking the Cycle
Breaking the Cycle
What scripture says about breaking the cycle?
Ephesians 4: 27 says: “Neither give place to the devil.” Declare With Me: I break every negative cycle around me, in Jesus’ name!
How God breaks our chains?
“But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you.” Acts 1:8. The power of the Holy Spirit was given for exactly this reason. By faith, by obedience, by God’s great grace and mercy, the shackles of sin are shattered and you become free. The Bible contains the power you need to be finished with sin.
What Scriptures say about breaking every yoke?
Isa. 58. [6] Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
1. Be your own advocate.
One thing I’ve learned is that people will treat you how you let them treat you. If you feel you can’t speak up for your own wants and needs to someone, then maybe it’s best to distance yourself from that person. People who genuinely love you want you to succeed. If people tear you down when things don’t go well, that is not love, that is control. You deserve better.
2. Listen to the friends you trust.
Nobody knows the dynamic of a relationship except the two people in it. But sometimes we are blinded by our own feelings. We romanticize the good and we choose not to acknowledge the bad. Your friends might be able to see certain red flags because they have a) a unique perspective and b) your best interest in mind. So, listen to them if they voice concerns.
3. Get out of the bubble.
Changing your environment and perspective is so important. Literally, if you can. Travel as much as possible to different places and different cultures. Can’t afford to travel? Read as much as you can. Be a sponge and soak up everything that you observe. Get lost and discover yourself all over again. Find your own strength.
4. Decide what love means for you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but you really do have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love someone else. Real love is about kindness, respect, forgiveness, humor, and vulnerability. And you can’t learn to do those things for others until you can do them for yourself first.
5. Set boundaries.
It’s not easy to continue relationships with family once you’ve been able to separate yourself from the abuse cycle. Set boundaries for others about what behavior is expected and appropriate. Set boundaries for yourself, about who you let into your own space or how much time or energy you’re willing to spend on something before you let go. Be prepared to cut ties if needed, because abusers do not respond well to boundaries.
You deserve love that nurtures and empowers you, and that starts with the love you learn to give yourself. Trust yourself, and listen to your instincts.
Nobody should feel like love means feeling like you’re disrespected or unsafe. That’s not love; that’s abuse. But committing to breaking that cycle of dysfunction can help change your world, and it’s never too late to live your best life.
I want to hear your feed back in the comment section on how your defeating the enemy’s plans through prayer, and through fasting while breaking the spiritual afflictions that are surrounding your family bloodline.